now that i have seen...

Well hello everyone :) It's been a month since our team's last post and I've had so much on my heart today...I just needed to write something. It's 1:30 am and I've only just put away my homework (which I've decided to finish in the morning..probably not the smartest idea but oh well) because I haven't been able to concentrate all night. I've been overwhelmed with a sense of love for the girls we met in Cambodia. One scene continues to play over and over in my head. I remember sitting on the floor after one Friday's church service with two of the girls holding my hand and desperately trying to say something to me. Finally we got someone to translate and I learned that they wanted to know that we wouldn't forget them when we went back to America.

How could I forget them? How could any of us forget those beautiful, precious girls? It's possibly been the longest 2 months since I came home from Cambodia. Every single day has been filled with thoughts of the girls and the center and the country. Part of me wishes so badly that I was still ignorant to what goes on in the world. Now that I know it's impossible for me not to care. Like Brooke Fraser sings in her song, Albertine, "Now that I have seen, I am responsible." I feel so responsible and yet so helpless. I can tell people what I've experienced all I want, but it seems like they'll never understand the urgency of human trafficking until they see it first-hand. I certainly didn't understand.

Today I looked through the Daughters website (recently updated, by the way). It was almost surreal seeing pictures and recognizing girls. Before I went the girls in the pictures were faces to a story that I'd made up in my mind. A depressing, yet successful story - rags to riches I guess. Now the girls in those pictures are girls that I've grown to love. Girls with stories that I still don't fully know. Girls that laugh and cry and bake cakes or sew aprons. Girls that give the best hugs and the most encouraging smiles and love to take pictures. But those girls are only a few out of hundreds of thousands. My heart breaks for every one of them. Sometimes it's so hard to care so much though - I almost wish I was numb to it all instead. But I try to remember that God's heart breaks so much more than my small, human, selfish heart ever could, but He's allowing me to feel a little bit of how He hurts for them. It reminds me of the importance and the urgency of the situation our world is in right now.

So now that I've seen and I understand a little more, I am responsible to do what I can to bring change. Whether that be through telling others or sponsoring a girl through Daughters or going back to Cambodia, I have a God-given responsibility that I will do my best to fulfill.

Awesome News!

Ok so--this next month (the month of September), the Stirring is sponsoring a Cause. And this "Cause" is not just any cause... it is one that pertains to this page (guess what it is yet?). That's right, the Daughters ministry in Cambodia! I'm stoked! What happens is, each month our church has a certain percentage that they tithe to a ministry, need, or...a Cause. Ever since the team and I got back to Redding from our trip, we have been so passionately telling about all that God taught us (and even broke us with) over there, that many have been asking what they can now do to help! Incredible. So the Stirring, this next month of September, is quite a start. We will have more info posted on the Stirring website soon...

For now, I just wanted to rant about this awesome news--and how AWESOME our God is to bring it about.

Peace,

Jenna

Life after Cambodia...

So I don't know if anyone even reads these still but I had some stuff on my heart and mind and even though it's almost midnight I had to get it out. Otherwise I'll never fall asleep!
First, I want to thank everyone who support me and the other girls on the team, whether that was financially or prayerfully or both. I can't even tell you how much that means to me. You helped make a life changing experience happen for us. I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my dear leaders only a few short months ago, shortly after spring break. I try not to think about it because it wasn't a proud moment for me, but it's amazing to see how far God has brought me and the whole team really since then. See, I asked them to meet me because I needed to talk to them about the trip. I wasn't sure if I was going to go - no money was coming in for me and we had our travel cost due in like one day. I was beginning to wonder if that was a sign that I shouldn't go. But they encouraged me and told me how sad they would be to see me leave the team and said they would do everything in their power to see that I can go, and they kept their word! Then God worked His miracles and brought in the money for our team, even more than we had expected! Funny how God works isn't it?
But that seems like forever ago. Now I've been there and I've come home and I have so many new thoughts and emotions and concerns. I feel like God is showing me the world with a totally different light now. And those girls at the center - those sweet, sweet girls...they've been on my mind almost constantly. I close my eyes and see their beautiful smiles, I hear a song and tell anyone who will listen (or even who won') how we danced to that song in Cambodia and the girls loved it, I try to sleep and can only think about the tight hugs or their gentle hands reaching for mine. People keep asking me if I changed anyone's life. I'm starting to hate that question because how can I know? But I do know that their lives changed my life. Their acceptance of me and the rest of the team was unlike any I've experienced before. I didn't need to do anything to prove myself, they just accepted me right away. If only we could all be more like that.
Anyway, that's nowhere near everything on my mind...I'm sure you'll hear it later ;) but my eyes are finally starting to feel too heavy to see what I'm typing. Believe me, tonight I'm not taking my comfortable bed in an air conditioned house for granted. I plan on sleeping very well tonight!
God be with you all!
Love,
Katie

Quite a Difference

Ummm.... I'm all alone in the Hong Kong airport! and let me tell you, after being with my five wonderful teammates constantly (not to mention the many other amazing people we've had the privilege of getting to know and work alongside with this last month), it is quite a difference. I know God is with me; I know the Comforter is my guide even in this small cafe in the corner by the check-in counters. I watch people and wonder what they have been doing the last month...or maybe what they did last night. Did they cry, because they felt alone too? Did they stay up all night after listening to live music in a small venue 'till the wee hours of the morning (like we did ;)? Did they see their families and are now sadly leaving? or have they been missing their homes as we have and are now so excited that the journey home is finally here? Maybe it's for business... maybe it's for vacation. Or maybe it's for something a little more heart-wrenching: a tough decision to change homes, a need to flee, a funeral, a wandering spirit that won't rest until it finds where it belongs (too bad this world is no one's home)...

But I am here because our team is done with our short time of service in Cambodia. I am here, because I came early to see them off at the security gate and then wait for my dad's and my flight to Bangkok at noon. I am here... because I am blessed enough to have a way to visit my dad and Thailand again--and I am blessed "enough" because how could I even ask for more right now? I am here... but I am about a million different places in my mind. I am back at the center, waking up to bless the morning and put on some water to boil. I am back in that yucky bathroom, with the cold shower-water hitting EVERYTHING else in that yucky bathroom... because there is a bathroom and there is running water and there are things, like toilet paper, for the water to hit--I may not like what that does to the toilet paper ;), but the water rinses and refreshes me, so even there, there is a blessing "enough." I am also in the adoring embrace of a girl who might not feel refreshed or rinsed quite as often as I do. I am looking at her without words that she could even begin to understand--I am looking at her, my hands on her shoulders, and I give her a head-nod--because I don't even know how to say, "I know... and HE knows." I am seeing her, but I cannot tell her she is seen. I am also enjoying her company... I am enjoying all the center-girls' company...maybe it's because they so enjoy mine?

So I am here, but I am also back there. I am here, but I am also back home. I am home with my parents and sisters and niece, I am home with my friends and my family of Christ, I am home with my peers and mentors, my confidantes and acquaintances... with my stories of where I've been, my heartache of what I've seen, my hope of who I would like to be now and how I would like to live, and even my struggle of who I've been and how many I obstacles I see in the way of these changes (myself still being the biggest one...). I am also home with "my" coffee shops, my cell phone, and my free wireless (more or less)... I am home in my comfortable environment and easy-access washing machine... and my bed. I don't feel "guilty" here, because I don't think that's exactly what God has in mind. But I do feel restless. I do feel the need to act out (even a little) and speak out (probably a lot) about what my eyes have become more open to during this trip. And I do feel sad. "Sad" because, even in those places, I am not at home.

But where I am right now--in reality--here in the Hong Kong airport, I am missing my team like crazy and trying to decide if this girl pacing behind me is waiting for her muffin or to use this computer? oh, wait a sec... yeah, it was the muffin. But I guess I should get going anyway. My dad will be here with me any minute now, and so then I will be here thinking about Thailand and how very grateful I will be to set foot on that land again--that beautiful land to which I compare all others and still far exceeds whatever they have to offer. I have missed Thailand... so even as I deeply miss my team on that plane leaving Hong Kong, those girls at Daughters in Cambodia, my family and friends in Oakhurst, my peers and "family" and mentors in Redding, and even as I miss my true home (strange as that sounds... as if I have been there before...), I will be grateful for yet another blessing that God has given me on this 22-year (so far) journey.

Wherever I am, I am truly blessed enough. But He does not seem to just stop at enough sometimes...for whatever reason... so maybe neither should I...? Maybe the difference between "enough" and "more than enough," can also be quite a difference.


Anyway... that's probably more than enough for now ;). Thanks for listening to this lonely girl in the airport.
Thanks for many many other things too! (like support, prayer, and belief).


But if I could just ask a few things more...

Please keep praying for safe travels...
please keep praying for my team...
please keep praying for God's work and their continued "debriefing" with Him.

And please, please, please... keep praying for Cambodia...


Much love,
Jenna

Beach...woohoo!

So, we're safe and sound in Hong Kong :) Haven't quite made it to "debriefing" yet, but I figure we'll get there sometime...tonight-ish. We've been busy enjoying the AC, sleeping till noon, and gazing at the beautiful view of the beach from our Hotel! Jealous? Yeah I would be too...except I'm here. Lol. Anyway, we love you and can't wait to see you all again. We'll probably continue to post blogs occasionally from home, updating you on how God continues to use this experience in our lives :) Pray for lots of rest while we're here, and safe travels home, and we'll see you soon!

Love, Cassie and team

Hong Kong here we come...

Hey friends and family!

It's Saturday here, which means we leave for Hong Kong tomorrow! Crazy huh? Well this week has been...crazy beautiful--that's the only way to describe it.

Wednesday's performance was amazing. God answered so many prayers. The ballet piece was absolutely beautiful, and I have to admit, a dream of mine fulfilled. Who ever thought I'd be teaching ballet to a bunch of ex-prostitutes? God is so cool. And then Jenna's music group performed "O Lord you're beautiful" and I swear there was not a dry eye on our team. Ruth was so blessed by the whole thing too, which was such a blessing for us. And Libbie's hip hop group had so much fun--only showing how even hip hop can be used to glorify God.

On Friday we had our last church service. Jenna sang a song she had written before coming to Cambodia, and it was absolutely beautiful. My favorite line is, "the dark will not stand a chance against love." That could not be more true, and I think now we know it more than ever. At the end we had all the girls sign these pink t-shirts we bought, and we began saying our goodbyes. It was an hour-long frenzy of pictures and laughing and and hugging. We all felt so loved. One of the girls we have all grown especially fond of is Cham-nan. She really had a hard time. While others were signing my shirt, she just sat next to me and held my hand. I looked over a few minutes later and tears were just streaming down her face. Oh my gosh it makes me cry just thinking about it! I will always love that girl. I stole her away for a moment and took her outside. In my broken Khmer (if you can even call it that) I told her Jesus loves her and that I would miss her so much. I gave her my thumb ring...somehow not enough to express what I felt, but it was leaping out of my heart and i can only hope she felt it too.

Last night we went out as a team to celebrate our last "night" in Cambodia. Over fish n' chips, pizza, caesar salad, and frappacinos, (random but oh so delicious) we reflected on our time here. So much to process! Sometimes all you can do is laugh and enjoy being with each other, because it's either laugh or cry. But we really enjoyed spoiling ourselves, eating at our beloved "FCC" on the riverfront. After that we figured we'd continue on the spoiling theme....and got professional massages :) It was a blast. Awkward at times, lol, but so refreshing. It was only $8 for an hour. Amazing huh?

As we prepare to leave, there are so many mixed emotions. I think last week we really grieved leaving this place, but I feel that now God has given us a peace and excitement for what lies ahead at "home." We are excited to share what we've learned, and to use our newfound knowledge to continue in ministry. But we still have so many questions as well. Ones that I know will not disappear once our feet reach American soil :) How do we live more simply so that others can simply live? How do we raise awareness, and better yet, empathy and action for the cause of stopping human trafficking? How do we live out God's justice in the world? How do we love the unlovely? So many questions. I think I speak for all of us when I say Cambodia has taught us that we live in tension...constantly. Broken yet whole, Preparing and waiting for the bridegroom, in the world yet not of it, justified yet not fully sanctified, seeing glimpses of the Kingdom yet longing for all of it. Either way, I see a bright and beautiful future for all the girls on my team. I am so proud of them. Their hearts are full of so much love and wisdom, and I have full confidence that they will live out this "tension" back in the states with God's grace.

Well, I love all of you so much and truly can't wait to be in community with you again. Know that you have all been as much a part of this journey as we have. I can't even tell you how much your emails, encouragement, news articles, prayers, and love have meant to us. You have been so close to us while we've been here that I wouldn't be surprised if you literally felt our presence leave Cambodia! (I wouldn't wish jet lag on you, though!) Also know that our journey doesn't end when we get home. There will be many more stories and pictures to share (which many of you will patiently sit through, thank you!) and much more processing and "living out" to do. So thank you, in advance, for coming alongside us, for praying for us when we get discouraged by American apathy or materialism, for asking us questions, for sending money back to Daughters (wink wink), and for truly being our extended family. We love you all so much!

Wish us luck in Hong Kong, and we'll see you all soon!

In His Grip, Cassie

I know He restores

Hello all :)

Well it’s the last week and I’m so pleased. There is an excitement in change. We are recognizing how important these new relationships are to us and how much we’ve enjoyed being here, because soon we’ll be gone. But there is also an excitement of what’s going to happen when we get home. It may be hard to share at our churches and recount all the things that God did in our lives over the past month, but I want others to be aware of what God has taught me. It’s exciting to see how God has brought us closer to him, our team and our families while we’ve been in Cambodia.

Today we went and saw the killing fields. I would expect there to be big deserted fields with some brush and a few old dirty buildings. But the landscape was beautiful. There were tall gorgeous trees, green grass, flowers, butterflies, and dirt paths to take us through the outdoor memorial. But the area next to the grass was a deep hole, a mass grave that had been dug up. And next to the beautiful tree was a sign explaining how the “killing tree” was used to beat children. I can imagine a child desiring to climb that tree; anticipating the challenge of getting to the top. But instead these children were terrified of what would happen if they were taken to it.

A couple of days ago we visited what used to be a brothel. The downstairs had rows of rooms and the two rooms upstairs were used for the highest bidder and his virgin and video making. This building is now used for God’s purpose; to love the children in the area and provide medical treatment for the sick. But when I saw a little girl climbing the stairs I immediately wanted to tell her to come down from there. How fitting for a little virgin to be walking up those stairs. She does not belong up there. None of these women belong in those rooms, and none of the men do either. But God can restore what was once used for evil and where demons dwelled, to a place of healing and joy.

Our God is good all the time, and even when I see the devil working all around; I know that my God is bigger and better than anything the devil can do. He restores my soul.

With love,

Alisa

a few days and a few bumps

with some sore throats and a couple upset stomachs, we're all preparing (in various ways) for our last few days working with the Daughters Center. we have one more day of classes tomorrow morning and then the performances are tomorrow afternoon at 2! :) we are so proud of our students... the joy these girls get from having even the slightest bit of teaching and fun is remarkably humbling, and i think we can each say that they have taught us more about hope and joy than we expected them to carry. please pray for our day tomorrow. as the week winds down, and we hear more and more "we miss you when you leave"s, it will be hard to find peace of mind and peace of body. some of us are trying to push through our annoying stuffy noses and headaches--which make us more emotional, somewhat discouraged, and all-in-all like the "full-potential" of our trip is not being met in the last stretch of a week's time. we want to "finish strong" of course, and those of us who want to feel like we're DOing something helpful with the little time we have left might be frustrated. please pray against satan's attacks in these ways. we figure, since he hasn't had much success in bringing us down in other areas, he's now trying to sneak in some words of doubt and hopelessness last minute. BUT, we are praying, we are believing, we are professing our faith to the very air in our flat... and we are drawing upon God's strength to help us hope even in a worn-out state. please pray for healing--the smallest of healings will do--i would love to be able to sing with my music students tomorrow. "Oh Lord, You're Beautiful" sounds a hundred times better in Khmai, so it is a blessing for me to be able to join in as well.

but i'm sure either way, i will be telling God how beautiful i think He is in that moment. whether my throat feels better or not.



four more days in Cambodia...

we miss you all!

love,
jenna

Pictures!

The View from our rooftop

On the river with Daughter's Staff and Friends

The riverfront

Pakou at the orphanage

Khmae faces :)

At the airport in Hong Kong

Near the Riverfront

At Yejj Cafe'

deep fried pancakes, anyone?

So here we are sitting in the little internet cafe after a long, full day of dance classes, music classes, and visiting another ministry. It's been a day full of mixed emotions, as many days seem to be. We laugh and enjoy our time here, but our hearts break so often for the women and children we work with. If they didn't we probably wouldn't be here right now.
But even after such a full day I can't help but realize that we have so little time left here. Part of me is ready to come home. I'm ready for a hot shower or a good chai tea latte in an air conditioned Starbucks. I'm ready to see the people I love and miss so much. But another part, a bigger part I think, isn't ready to leave. There are so many things that I'll miss here. I'll miss calling out "speed bump!" as we go over the only speed bump in the city on our tuk-tuk rides with "Daddy Durn." I'll miss seeing "monks on a moto" and the smiling faces of the Cambodian people. I'll certainly miss our cook's singing and laughing and the patient hours she spent teaching us Khmer. Even more, I'll miss spending every day with these five wonderful girls that I've grown to love and trust so much. We've been through so much together - from deep frying pancakes in a wok to crying and praying with each other. These girls hold such a special place in my heart and I'll miss them so much. But what I'll miss most is the girls and women we've met here. I don't want to ever forget our silly dancing to Usher and Step Up or learning how to make flowers out of icing or the stories they've shared. I came here with the intention of serving and encouraging these beautiful girls and they've done the same for me - probably more than they'll ever know.
But we're not leaving just yet! We still have some time left :) and I intend to use it wisely. I don't want to spend any more time wishing I was somewhere else. God brought me here. He wants to use me to do His work. He doesn't need me but he chose me - us - anyway and I want to respect that choice by doing the best I can. So I'm challenging myself to remember that each moment I experience is a moment I can't get back. Whether it's good or bad I want to do my best to cherish it because it's a part of my life that could help to shape me and I know that no matter what is happening in that moment, God is right there holding my hand and laughing or crying along with me.
Please continue to pray for us. We miss you all back at home :)
And happy birthday Daniel and Carlos!

- Katie

Our GREAT God (& John Castledine)

When we first got here, Ruth, told us about John Castledine. She said again and again, “he’s an amazing man.” And without a doubt, that he is simply amazing and so much more.

Saturday at 4:30am we woke up and got ready for our ferry to go across the river to go see this amazing church to go see the amazing man, John. We were late, which isn’t new, but thankfully we didn’t miss our ferry and we were off.

Upon arriving on shore, we met the man. He had grey hair and looked like a John…um yea… that’s right. He had grey hair. We were in the middle of traffic so introductions we a simple “hello” but that was good enough for us. We went through town and I personally liked it a lot better than the part of Phnom Penh that we have been living at. It was a lot quieter here and I’d say it was more peaceful to some extent. Anywho, soon enough we arrived at the training center called, Sovanapoom Care. It looked like a fortress with its walls high and the door that kept all the bad things out. As we entered the center, there were two rows of elderly people outside with loud music coming from the inside. We got there right in time to see the last 30 minutes of their outreach. Inside the center were about a hundred little children; some were there with their mothers. The room was packed and up where the stage was were the children who lived or came to the center on a regular basis. They were leading worship and it was an amazing sight to see. We found out later the elderly remained outside because the service had been moved upstairs making it hard for them to climb up. I thought it was genius considering the children sang so loudly anyway.

John later had us go outside. It was a regular, it seemed, that he gave away noodles to those who came by. Considering food is hard to come by among those who are in poverty, anything is a blessing. John handed out two packs of noodles to the elderly as they left and had us help hand out one pack the massive amount of women and children who came down from the stairs. I have plenty of pictures and I can’t wait to show you!

When all the visitors had cleared, John invited us into the office and got right on with it. He started to tell us how it all started and we sat in awe… no…I mean we were IN AWE of what God had done in his life. John and Tessie Castledine came to Cambodia about 10 years ago. But before those 10 years God had turn John’s whole life around. You see, John was a major alcoholic and an abuser. Never did he think that he could ever change his ways… but what can I say, we serve an amazing God who can turn even the hardest of all hearts around. John said that the day he gave his life to God he had been on fire for God and until this day he is still on fire for God… I believe it.

It all started when made it loud and clear that John and his wife needed to go to Cambodia. Unsurprisingly, he did just that. From the start, people told John it was a waste of time to work with poor people and that he shouldn’t go. He retorted and said that Jesus worked with poor people all his life and if it was good enough for the Lord then it was good enough for him *I thought, “AMEN to that!”* With nothing but twenty dollars to his name he and his wife went to Cambodia. When they had first gotten there people were dying left and right of starvation and diseases. I believe their passion grew when John encountered a woman who was ready to drown her child because her baby was sick and she couldn’t take care of it. John saw her and stopped her asking her for the baby if she didn’t want it and sure enough she gave over her baby and left. Not to long after, the baby the grew to love and called their own died in their arms. Tessie took it hard as any mother would and remained heart broken for her child. When John was walking the street and saw a little boy no older than 5 years old caring for his one year old brother, he couldn’t turn away and took them home with him. Obviously, Tessie wanted nothing to do with them and asked him to take them back. John said he would take them back and of course they’ll die on the street soon enough. This was just the thing to change Tessie’s mind and they kept them both and raised them as their own. Since that day children have been brought to them and the family has grown from two children to over seventy now.

Most of the children who come have lost one or both parents, which is why most people consider it an orphanage, and other children have been given to them due to their cruel living environments. Many of those children were abused by their parents who were druggies, alcoholics and gamblers. Instead of feeding their starving children they spent every last cent on themselves. These children were either handed to the Castledine by the government or by relatives or neighbors who witnessed the children’s living circumstances. The Sovanapoom Care is a place where babies whose mothers had no milk or money to feed them, children dying of starvation and disease, young teenagers at risk of trafficking and adults with nowhere left to turn have found it to be an oasis of life in often desperate situations.

Some of the stories that continue to ring in my mind as John went on and on about the MANY MANY amazing things God has done since they had gotten to Cambodia are the stories about Jeremiah and Samson. Jeremiah was the boy I had mentioned earlier who was 5 years old when he had to take care of his one year old brother all by himself. His name wasn’t always Jeremiah but you see, this young boy took that name upon himself claiming the God has called him to be a prophet. John doesn’t doubt that God has placed this one his heart and within John’s own heart he knows that one day it will be Jeremiah who will take over him when he dies. He learns quickly and is a gifted musician. He welcomes those who have come in after him and looks out for them as well.

Samson is my personal favorite. He was at the footsteps of the center with aids and a hole in his throat but he was still breathing and alive. Everyone in Samson’s family had died and he was the only one left. He lived and ate with the dogs and knew nothing beyond that. John commented that Samson received his name because to grow without love requires one to have great strength *not to mention the huge hole in his neck that should have killed him…but it didn’t* Samson at six years of age and in his boldness would go around the town and to the docks proclaiming, “I HAVE AIDS BUT JESUS IS GOING TO HEAL ME AND I WILL BE HEALED!” and sure enough, his faith in the Lord healed him. These two are just some of the few AMAZINGLY RADICAL stories that John told us. The rest you’ll have to hear for yourself because they way unbelievably awesome.

John knows that God has called him to raise up a generation for his kingdom right where he is in Cambodia. God continues to give him visions and John continues to be obedient. An orphanage or not, John calls it a training center where building character is their main focus. Again, those who come MUST have a heart to learn. It’s a Christian-based center but nothing is shoved down their throats. Once the children are there they just can’t deny the One who had led them there and they worship—they really worship. As a matter of fact, the church service is led by the children. Children as young as 3 sing at the top of their lungs and they raise their hand up high as they sing their praises, which I assure you, reaches the heavens with a blast! John had also mentioned that when a new child is brought to their doorsteps he asks the children if they are willing to let them come in. letting new children come in means having less food and less floor space for the night. But each time they say, “yes” because they’ve all been there too—they’ve been without a home, they’ve been without food, they’ve been without hope. These children are amazing and it breaks our hearts to know that we will never be able to fathom the pain they had gone through. But we are thankful, truly thankful that there are obedient followers of our AMAZING GOD who chooses to say “YES!” when they are called and they live out their callings to the fullest measure.

I know this is about the longest thing you’ve read since your textbooks this summer if you got through it all but there are so much more I wish I could say but I must stop now. Our amazing tuktuk driver waits outside patiently for us and I must say my hands are getting tired. ;-P but before I leave I ask you to pray and REALLY PRAY because they need you. The center lives and feeds by donations and there aren’t any regulars so you know how that goes. Pay check to pay check and it is a close call everytime. John has also been given a vision to build a school building four stories high to give these children a chance and to empower them to become more than anyone has ever expected of them to become. John is raising up a generation who is hungry and thirsts for God but there is only him, his wife, and his sister, along with the temporary volunteers who come from time to time. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM! IT IS AMAZING WHAT GOD IS DOING HERE… NOW THAT YOU KNOW…WHAT WILL YOU DO?! GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY. *well, you can give and ask God if he is going to send you here too if you want! I’m sure they’d appreciate it loads

Oh! And you can go check them out at: www.sovanapoomcare.com..


We miss you and love you our lovely loves! See you in about 2 weeks.. pray for us too!!!!

inChrist,
pakou

A prostitute made me a bracelet today.
Pink, white, glitter.
A yellow smile, big brown eyes.

She's so beautiful.
So much taken from her
The world screams slut! trash! whore!
But she made me a bracelet today.

She creates.
She dreams.
She dares to hope.
She is you. She is me.
A prostitute made me a bracelet today.





Jesus, how far have we removed you?
From the trash piles, from the whore houses, from the mud?
How far have we removed you?
To make you beautiful, to make you clean, to make you comfortable.
Oh, Jesus, how far we have removed you.

We've white-washed you,
made cookie-cutter deserts and mass produced you,
sweet smelling and high priced -
sold to the highest bidder, the young and the restless, the popular and the trendy.
Oh Jesus, please forgive us
for how far we've removed you.

Take us with you,
back to the trash piles, back to the whore houses, back to the mud.
Remove us from our independence, our perfumes, our lovers.
Remove us from our false identities, from our hypocrisy, from our mansions.
Remove us from ourselves, God.

Take us back
to the trash piles, the whore houses, the mud.
Jesus
take us back to your heart.



-Cassie

Quick update :)

Hey everybody :) We love and miss you all, but we are doing really well. Just a quick update on the last few days...

On thursday we got to meet our tuk-tuk driver's brand new baby boy! Oh my gosh he is sooo cute! Durn took us to the hospital so we got to meet his wife, his mom, and their baby. The whole experience was just amazing. We have just fallen in love with this guy! (non-romantically of course). He takes such good care of us. Keep praying for him to come to church again. We want him to know Jesus so badly!

We also had a Spa Night for the Daughters Staff last night (Friday). It was Awesome! These grown women giggled and squealed like little girls as we painted their toes, did their makeup, and massaged their feet. I gave a mini-sermon on beauty and how we long to be beautiful because we're made in the image of a beautiful God (ideas borrowed from "Captivating"). The whole night was just such a blessing to our team, to be able to give back to these women who work so hard. I got some good pictures so I'll have to show them when I get back. Oh, and after all the staff left we grabbed our cook, Sopeavie, out of the kitchen and did her feet and nails as well. She was so happy. We wanted her to feel pampered too.

One last note, we are going on a ferry ride today with a few staff from Daughters. We are excited to have a day off, and looking forward to getting to know these women more. They are so amazing. And tomorrow, we are going to visit a church across the river, and have to get up super early cuz the ferry leaves at 6 am. It will be a fun day though.

I think that's it for now. More to come later! Thank you so much for all your love and prayers!

In His Grip, Cassie and team

Reality.

Cambodia. A place that was so unfamiliar is now a place we know just a bit better, and love a bit more.

We’ve been here for about two weeks now, and it does feel somewhat like home now. The days are long, but at the end of the day we know its worth it all—we even end up sharing stories and before we hit the pillow the room is filled with laughter and joy. (But sometimes frustration and tears—but we all have each other..:)

In these past few weeks our schedule has changed, but we are pretty busy.
In the mornings Jenna teaches a music class; and I teach a hip hop class. Later in the day Katie and Cassie teach ballet. After that we usually have lunch and for the rest of the day we join the women in the center. We either can join the sewing room, the cake room, or the children’s room. I’ve been so honored that the LORD can use us, no matter our faults, hesitations or insecurities—these women here are so beautiful. They are so giving, gentile and truly kind. We have learned so much from them. We’ve been able to have a couple seminars to teach and also sermons on our testimony… the LORD has been working-but in just ways we don’t expect.
We’ve been able to visit a couple Cambodian Churches-wow are they awesome. I love seeing these people on fire for the LORD—and how their community is so inviting. Also our (tuk tuk) driver has been able to attend church with us—weve gotten to know Him pretty well!
Basically we are all doing good. The Lord has been transforming us, shaping us..slowly but surely. In all honesty, Its been tough sometimes to wake up and face the day-but I have to let go of fears, frustrations and complacency-and Trust in Him-that He wants me here, He is working, and that its not about the "doing" but the "being" (with these women).
Pray for encouragement, communication, joy, health and peace. Gods been so good to us, but we are still fighting the battle. PLEASE pray for the Daughters organization-they are going through a lot of transitioning. Pray for encouragement, provision and funding. Thank you so much. We greatly appreciate all your support and prayers (we love checking our blogs and being encouraged by you all!! We love you!)
We miss you all.


Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.
Psalm 51: 10-13


Blessings and Peace,

Libbie and the Cambodia team

A Thought About My Birthday

Hey All,

This is the first time I’ve been on the internet since my birthday (which, really, it hasn’t been that long), but I want to tell you about something that has been on my (and all of our) hearts for a while now. Last Friday, we had the awesome opportunity of going to that UN meeting with Ruth as I’ve mentioned, but the most impacting thing about that trip was actually the tuk-tuk ride over there. We got to talk with Ruth a lot during that time—I think it was the first time we really got to hear her heart—and what she said about Daughters and the Center girls and all the trafficking going on into and (more commonly) within Cambodia will never leave any of us. I say all this with my birthday in mind, because I know without a shadow of a doubt what I would like for my birthday from anyone who has yet to give me a present (if you were already planning on doing so, of course ;). >>>>>SEND MONEY TO DAUGHTERS!!!<<<<<

Seriously. Whatever you were going to spend on me—don’t. Spend it on Daughters—Spend it on these girls, spend it on their salaries to keep them out of the brothels and away from the beatings of their own families. Spend it on these children and their food and shelter, that they may not be trafficked into the local brothels by their own parents or sold and shipped away as slaves. Spend it on Ruth and Sam’s salary—their family’s income, which is strictly whatever they get from sponsors of Daughters and only what is not invested in paying the girls and bettering the Center. Spend it on helping with their advertising for the amazing businesses they are attempting to keep going/start up. Don’t spend it on me. Spend it on ordering a bag. Don’t spend it on soda—spend it on ordering a necklace or curtains. I’m not just ranting and spending my words on a useless spark of passion—I’m trying to be an advocate for a mission, a heart, and a person who could be impacted profoundly by this change in where you place your money.

A good friend and mentor of mine has planted this following thought into my mind: “When you usher the Kingdom into even one person’s life, you usher the Kingdom into the world—because that life is inextricably a part of the world, and so you are most assuredly bringing the Kingdom into it.” Again, I am reminded that it is God’s mission to the world, and we are simply one part of it; but He chooses to use us in it to bring Himself joy and to bring us joy. We as a team must keep reminding ourselves to take joy in those opportunities. While there are challenges and sorrows galore over here, there are also joys to be found in the most unlikely places. Who would have thought that the most loved I’ve ever felt on my birthday would be from those who desperately need to understand how MUCH Love Himself loves them? Who would have thought that I would receive the most precious gifts of priceless effort and care from those who don’t even have a change of clothes for every day of the week? And who would have thought that the most honor I would ever receive from anyone in this world would come from those who are holding so much shame inside? I would have never thought it… And I would have never thought that having my birthday so far away from “home” would actually show me a comfort closer to “home” and a purpose of being born that is greater than any I’ve ever experienced before.

So don’t sell yourself short and think that your birthday, your money, or your home, are for you alone. Because you just might miss out on what having a GREAT birthday, enough money, and your true home really feels like. It is a joy beyond words. And on June 25th 2008, I was very, very glad to be turning 22 in Cambodia.


Please continue to pray. And thank you for your unwavering support.


Blessings and Love,
Jenna

"My grace is sufficient"

Hello there :)

This is Alisa and I thought I'd let you know a little bit about what I'm thinking...

It's easy for me to see the good in people. I look for things we may have in common or the way God is working in their lives, whether they see it or not. As I expected, being in Cambodia and at Daughters I feel comfortable with these people because they are God's children as well. They speak a different language, have a different culture, and look different than what I am used to; but they are people who need love and relationship; people who hurt and can get angry. They are the same as me. But there is a big difference. These women who we are spending our days with have been slaves; performing and giving themselves to people that they don't know and don't want to give themselves too. God has blessed me so much and its easier to put up a wall and not acknowledge the evil in their lives. I'd rather think that they are just like me, but there is a difference. I don't want to close off my heart to their hurt because I don't want to shut out the Lord. How can He use me to heal if I do not acknowledge the hurt and sickness? It breaks my heart, but it breaks His even more. God uses His people to bring justice in this world and if I am not willing to hurt along side the hurting when will there ever be restoration?

I hope this message isn't discouraging; the way God is speaking to me is encouraging. Gently helping me to understand his love and kindness. Helping me to understand what it really means to give my heart and help those around me.

I thank you all so much for your prayers, they are needed. And I love you all who supported us to come to Cambodia. We are priviledged to be apart of God's plans and praise Him every moment of every day. Thank you so much.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in your weakness."

Love you all :)

Alisa

Some more thanks

Hey all,
Well, as Cassie said, we're safe here in the Kingdom of Cambodia (awesome)! And as today is officially our second full day at Daughters...things are becoming a little more at peace in our spirits I think. Not that we are becoming less "affected" by all that surrounds us here, but God is assuring us each hour that He is in this place, and that we are most assuredly in His hands.

Oh my gosh--we met the girls yesterday--they are LOVELY (that's my new favorite word, as the Daughters director, Ruth, uses it to describe them!). They are ever-so curious about us and even more accepting than I had anticipated--perhaps that was my American egocentric side worrying about that. But they asked us to pray for them yesterday, shortly after we got to sing a few songs to them at their church service (which, the services happen on Fridays at 1 every week). It was awesome, because they didn't care about the language barrier, they were just so hungry for love and prayer, they just wanted us to speak to God over them! It's humbling to hear questions like, "Can God really change me? Can He really change my life?"--they are so desperate for Him to do that... while sometimes, I really don't want want Him to.

Oh, and Ruth took us to a UN meeting/panel thingy last night, where representatives were talking about the issues of elections and human rights in Cambodia. I can't say it was most exciting time (at least, not until the MONSOON HIT AND ALMOST STRUCK THE BUILDING WITH LIGHTNING! we loved it ;), but it was fascinating to listen to how those kinds of issues are talked about here... especially human rights. We look around and judge, thinking, "Do they even have any?" But God knows it goes so much deeper than we see.

Anyway, our time here in the internet cafe (with stalls of bamboo) is almost up, and I wish I could tell more stories (there are already so many--so many blessings, so many challenges), but here's a shout out to my life group (thanks for the comment meghan!), and some love to my dear dear friends (you know who you are), and much much more thanks to everyone who is thinking about us and praying for our time here!
PLEASE, keep the prayers coming. We are so aware of how desperately we need them everyday.

Peace to you our family of Christ,

Jenna

We've arrived!

Hey everybody! We've arrived safe and sound in Cambodia :) As you heard from Libbie's last post, getting here was a little shaky, (and comical) but God pulled us through. Overall we are feeling pretty good, but I think our bodies (namely stomachs and sleep cycles) are totally confused...lol. It will take a few days to adjust.

Ruth, the director of Daughters, picked us up at the airport. She is absolutely wonderful! I think culture shock hit all of us as soon as we stepped out of the airport though. Namely, we passed a few brothels on our way to the Daughters center, and it was pretty heart-wrenching. If Ruth hadn't of said anything, we would have never known the difference. But just becoming aware of their existence made us all pretty sick to our stomachs. We've been preparing for this trip for months, but nothing can prepare you for that. Nothing.

Ruth is absolutely amazing though. She has been working tirelessly to get so many details worked out for us. It turns out she rented an apartment flat for us for the month, which is right next to the Daughters center (complete with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a kitchen). We feel so spoiled, as we will have our own cook (so cool) and a personal driver that will take us wherever we need to go. Ruth also arranged for a male staff person to accompany us home every night and on any excursions we make. In the mornings at the center we will also have a staff person, to show us around and direct us for whatever needs to be done. Ruth has also worked out a detailed schedule for us, I'm sure loaded with things to do around the center. Tonight we are going to sit down with her and share what we have prepared, and then work with what she has in mind to come up with a ministry plan, of sorts. We've only been here a few hours and yet we feel welcomed into this amazing ministry. Such a blessing!

On saturday two volunteers from the UK will be joining the Daughters ministry, and will be living in one of the other rooms in our apartment. We are excited to get to know them and have some more housemates!

Well, I think that's it for now. Thank you for your prayers for safe travel and logistical details to be worked out. God was definitely working on it all from this side :) Continue to pray for discernment and the Holy Spirit's leading. Also as a team leader I ask that you pray for my girls! :) They have already seen and experienced a lot just in the short time we've been here. So pray for healthy processing and comfort from God's truth and spirit. We love you all and thank you for your unending support and love. We'll post again soon!

In His Grip, Cassie

We're almost there...!

So..We are currently in Hong Kong! (My first time overseas!) We are here in the airport waiting..or should I say leisurely taking our time and awaiting our 8:30 flight tomorrow morning to our final destination..Cambodia!! It is just right around the corner!! It is about 11:30pm here and the date is June 18th. We lost quite a few hours and are somewhat delusional after the total flight of about 15 hours...we haven’t even made it to Cambodia yet! (and we didn’t get much sleep on the plane...)

But thank the Lord for His grace on us. We barely made it to our first flight to San Fran because of the traffic and such ("emergency road construction" is what cal trans called it) on the way. Me (Libbie), Alisa, Pakou and Jenna were all in one car-and were planning on meeting Katie and Cassie in the airport. Our flight was flying out at 2:00pm so we planned to meet at the airport a couple hours earlier to have plenty of time to get going. We were running a little late, and then were informed we had to check in at 1:00 in order to be able to get on our flight—it was 12:38 on the clock in the car as we were miles from the airport...Jenna’s talented, aggressive, pro-race car driver mom(Chris)-got us there about ten minutes till! She saved the day pretty much. I'm not gunna lie…I was a little stressed ….Jenna’s like "Libbie. its okay! Hold my hand!!" I ended up holding her pinky..and shes like "uhh…alright. you just keep squeezing that pinky!!" Needless to say-we made it on the plane. We are glad we are safe...and ready to spend the night here in Hong Kong—Im pretty sure ill never forget this night and the hours that have led up to this.

Random funny stories/things: 1. Jenna made us steal airplane plastic cups: (What? they throw them away anyways. :)
2. This airport has fun go cart /cars that beep and the people driving them have big smiles on their faces-and they will run you over.
3. When we arrived in the Hong Kong Airport, we were sitting down waiting for Cassie and Jenna. Me, Alisa, Katie and Pakou see 3 guys dressed in airport security uniforms…but not just any security uniforms...they had guns. We all sat there with our eyes wide open. And Pakou goes “Um..those guys are pretty intimidating. but they look like boys with toys.” We didn’t want to stare them in the eye...they kind of walked with a strut as well. It was funny because you can tell they really were intimidating the way people would avoid them. But we know we are protected.
On that note, we are going to get some sleep.
Pray for Health, strength, and provision.
Thank you all for your prayers. But our trip is just beginning….goodbye!

--LibbieAnn--

what is going on??

So I should be landing in San Francisco in about half an hour, but instead I'm sitting here on my bed in Jersey after saying goodnight to my family like every other night.

I learned something today: I don't always know what's going to happen. My plan was to fly to CA tonight and stay with my aunt, uncle, and cousins for a couple days until we all met in the airport on Tuesday. Then I had problems checking in and waited in line for about 30 minutes to check my bag. And then I thought I was going to miss my flight so I just about ran to the gate to find that the plane was overbooked and they couldn't fit everyone. So I was one of the few willing to change my flight and that's how I ended up back home for the night (and with a nice airline credit!)

Not at all what I planned! But I know God was behind it all. I got to talk to another woman who had also given up her seat. We started talking about Cambodia and what our team will be doing and the expression on her face was so humbling. When I told her we simply wanted to build relationships and show the girls they are worth so much she looked so happy that someone would give up their summer to do what we're doing. And for a minute I was proud. I mean who doesn't love to be a part of something that could make a difference? But then I caught myself. I don't even know specifically what I'm doing over there! I don't know what's going to happen. And whatever does happen is in God's name, not mine. But the unknown scares me to death. I like to have control. I like to know what the plan is and what will happen. But if there's one thing I've learned in the past few years it's that I have no control over most things. Some stuff is just too big for me. If I try to take it on by myself there's no way it'll work. If I try to do it with God there's no way it won't work! How exciting is that?

I don't know what will happen in the next few weeks. Even what I thought was set in stone didn't turn out the way I planned so far. But one thing I do know is that no matter what does happen, as long as it's in God's name, it will be amazing...even if we can't see the results of it in this lifetime.

So tomorrow I'll say my goodbyes again, drive to the airport once more, pray that I can actually get on this flight, and begin my journey to do what I can for God's will. I might be scared to death but I'm also more excited than ever before :)

Katie

STOOOKED!!!!

Tonight, Alisa and Libbie and I will pack up my car, leave Redding, and head down to Oakhurst (my hometown by Yosemite) for the remaining two days before our trip! Then my mom will drive us to the SF airport on Tuesday where we'll meet up with Pakou, Katie, and Cassie...
I am stoked! It all seems so surreal as I sit here in my cozy Shasta Creek apartment... but this morning, reality is creeping closer in, and it surprises me that I'm meeting it with more joy and excitement than stark-raving-mad fear! (amazing how God can change your heart over the course of time). Sure...there are a few frightening things...and a few things left to do (like... PACK!!! -mom knows, I hate packing-), but overall, it's like the clicking of a roller-coaster car's safety restraint... coming down agonizingly slow but once it's finally in place, you know it's all for the better. Then what can you do but be stoked?! (unless you have a phobia of roller-coasters...you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and are thinking, "Jenna, you're nuts--GET OFF THE ROLLER COASTER!!!) haha, but I like roller coasters, and this is my analogy, so just go with it. ;). Anyway, I can't believe it's actually being set into motion tonight...

But for all the support we've gotten from those here in Redding, oh my gosh, THANK YOU! Simpson as a whole, of course, but Simpson Central and the Student Development office, Spiritual Formation, Student Outreach, Student Activities, Student Missions, the ever-encouraging faculty and staff, Rich, Donna, Joe, Grethe, the RD's, the Carters, Lorene, Emily, and on and on the list goes... Also, the Redding Community that we are each a part of--the Stirring, Yaks, the Hoffman household, Little Country Church, Risen King, Castle Craggs, Starbucks (we've spent a lot of bonding time there), even the lady in line at Michael's... And our friends and mentors within many of these places... Nate, Erica, Derrick, Becky, Wendy, Sarah, Kandice, Jamie, Josh, Kristena, Meghan--our LIFE GROUPS (here's a shout out!)... To you ALL, we are so grateful. And I'm only speaking for about half of our team! Pakou's in Merced, Katie's in New Jersey, Cassie was in Sac. and is in Georgia right now...I know they have had encouragement and prayer from supporters there as well.

SO. When I say I am "stoked," I mean it! Because there's nothing quite as "stoking" to a fire as heaps of supporting coal being thrown onto it. Again, my analogy. You may have a phobia of a certain element in it... but you get the picture.

Now, I need to stop delaying the inevitable for today.
Here's to packing! (Woo hoo...)


Blessings,

Jenna

In just a week...

In just a week we will be getting off a plane in Cambodia where what we call "our mission trip" will finally be taking real form, but since it's not really our mission that we'll be getting off that plane for, what happens from there, only God can say...


I've been in a weird sort of tension between anxiety and peace over that last statement these past few days--the anxiety bordering a sort of obsessive-compulsive "control freak" syndrome, and the peace bordering something like lethargy with a hint of futility mixed in... both of these borders are extremes which let me, for a moment at least, pretend like the "only God can say" part of this whole thing doesn't really exist. It makes my thoughts god rather than letting me think about God... it makes my picture of what the trip will be (or won't be) the focal point of my eyes and vision rather than having those two things land on Him. I know that each member of our team has some sort of concern or another, and it's good that this concern causes us each to act on the things that we can act on (preparation is o-so-important and not to be neglected here!)... I also know, though, that we each may begin to despair should we start making our goals, visions, thoughts, and abilities our gods and then start tying them inextricably into the "destination" of this trip. Because we all like to picture ourselves as little saviors, don't we? As if we just rush in with our "put-together" things to "un-put-together" places and make all the difference in the world...

...Of course, rest assured, we definitely DO make a difference--it's just, I think sometimes we forget that it is God's difference we are longing to make here, isn't it? And what if we don't get to say exactly how that will play out? He sees all the differences made in the world--and He sees how, eventually, all the world could be different. But, I want to be the one that sees those things sometimes--I want to be the one that can say how this or that will be better because this or that is going to happen and I'm going to do this and that to show them and they the way the world should be... etc., etc...

So when it comes down to the fact that I'm faced with the question of "Who can say how this is all REALLY going to play out?" I think I might die of an anxiety attack over my true lack of control--or, the opposite, from a futile attitude giving into all my doubts and despair about the pointlessness of "doing good" in the world (of course, this is all so dramatic... as am I ;). Honestly, I can't deny that I want to KNOW what I'm doing is worthwhile, and that while I'm doing it, I can see it's worth, in all it's glory! (Woot Woot! Hallelujah, Amen!) And if we can't plan right, prepare our minds right, convince our supporters, impress our overseas contact, MEET EXPECTATIONS, then what the heck are we supposed to say about what will even happen over there?!! (Ah! Such an outrage!!!)



But the more I think about it.... the more I realize that, yes--only God can say...

and I actually like that about this trip.


So, in just a week, we will be getting off a plane in Cambodia... and, from there, well...

only God can say :). (Awesome. really.)



Peace to you all tonight,

Jenna

"Returning Vineyards"

Hosea 2:14-15 has always been a favorite of mine... mostly because I believe it speaks to a soul that feels lost. But this sort of lost is often mixed in with great struggle, longing, and confusion--confusion over whose fault the "lostness" is. The soul herself is probably not convinced she is blameless in all of this, and maybe she's not... but, however blurred the line between victim and perpetrator is, she very deeply knows that something has led her astray...

"But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Achor [or "trouble"] into a door of hope. There she will sing [or "respond" or "give herself to me"] as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt."

Innocent or justifiably reproachable, the "prostitutes" of old and those of our modern Cambodian destination have all experienced the plundering of their vineyards--with nothing left to feel but "Achor" (trouble). I do not pretend to know what kind of darkness has accompanied them through the Valley, but I don't need to pretend to know that God's tender voice speaks even there--revealing, leading, restoring, and returning stolen things. It is beckoning and forgiving, and His renewed entrustment to her stirs a response of hope--one that can be described as "giving herself" back to Him, or even... a singing... a singing as that of "a young girl...fresh out of Egypt" (The Message).

In light of this, I thought it might be appropriate to title our blog "Returning Vineyards" because we are serving a God whose heart beats for that redeeming mission. Like the "she" found in Hosea's second chapter, those we encounter in Phnom Penh will have had many seized vineyards leaving behind only chasms of devastation and marred life. Though we cannot return the vineyards ourselves, we can stand in the gap in whatever way the Sovereign Lord has so anointed. We will bear witness to how His hands assuredly move--in us, through us--and how His feet bring to the robbed this mysterious, wonderfully good news about returning vineyards.


Throughout all of this, we remain so thankful for the prayers and encouragement of our supporters and family. Please continue to lift this trip up to the Lord with us.

With Great Faith,

the Cambodia team