what is going on??

So I should be landing in San Francisco in about half an hour, but instead I'm sitting here on my bed in Jersey after saying goodnight to my family like every other night.

I learned something today: I don't always know what's going to happen. My plan was to fly to CA tonight and stay with my aunt, uncle, and cousins for a couple days until we all met in the airport on Tuesday. Then I had problems checking in and waited in line for about 30 minutes to check my bag. And then I thought I was going to miss my flight so I just about ran to the gate to find that the plane was overbooked and they couldn't fit everyone. So I was one of the few willing to change my flight and that's how I ended up back home for the night (and with a nice airline credit!)

Not at all what I planned! But I know God was behind it all. I got to talk to another woman who had also given up her seat. We started talking about Cambodia and what our team will be doing and the expression on her face was so humbling. When I told her we simply wanted to build relationships and show the girls they are worth so much she looked so happy that someone would give up their summer to do what we're doing. And for a minute I was proud. I mean who doesn't love to be a part of something that could make a difference? But then I caught myself. I don't even know specifically what I'm doing over there! I don't know what's going to happen. And whatever does happen is in God's name, not mine. But the unknown scares me to death. I like to have control. I like to know what the plan is and what will happen. But if there's one thing I've learned in the past few years it's that I have no control over most things. Some stuff is just too big for me. If I try to take it on by myself there's no way it'll work. If I try to do it with God there's no way it won't work! How exciting is that?

I don't know what will happen in the next few weeks. Even what I thought was set in stone didn't turn out the way I planned so far. But one thing I do know is that no matter what does happen, as long as it's in God's name, it will be amazing...even if we can't see the results of it in this lifetime.

So tomorrow I'll say my goodbyes again, drive to the airport once more, pray that I can actually get on this flight, and begin my journey to do what I can for God's will. I might be scared to death but I'm also more excited than ever before :)

Katie